The Road to Key West - Summer 1998'
MIAMI-KEY WEST TRIP 98 WITH MR. DEAN
WED. - SEPT 98
AFTER COMPLETING A FULL(FULL IN NELS TERMS) DAY OF WORK, dean and I jumped in the car with the clothes we had on our back and set our sights south. the following passages are notes of our adventures. we left 10:30pm wed night, hoping to see all the roadside attractions and tiki bars we could. after several hours on the road we started deciding exactly what we wanted to go see on our first leg. DINO GOLF it was. so we ended up taking a bunch of side roads through the hills of eastern Kentucky, it is actually quite pretty. the town we were headed for was about 50 miles south east of Knoxville, the name escapes me now, as it turns out the place we were headed was within 10 miles of dollywood, a most excellent find, as the strip leading to dollywood was filled with exciting treasures such as go kart tracks and elvis museums. we made our way through the neon stop by stop, finally arriving at dinoworld (11:30am thurs). actually a bit of a let down as I expected to much. never the less we putt a game and snapped some fotos.
after that we wanted to make it to Florida ASAP, we had begun to get tired, and sleeping in the bed of the pickup just wasn't cutting it. one of my friends lived along the way in Gainesville Florida, a mere 60 miles from the famed Orlando(Disney) area, which was our target for the next day. so we arrived at her place around 12:30 am fri morning and we all went out for a few drinks. while we were out I found out that dean was having a slight constipation problem (that would explain the long bathroom visits on the way down???) and we all had a few chuckles at his expense, I think he ate to much cheese. as the bars close early in Gainesville we ran out of things to do quite early, besides I hadn't slept since wed. morning. so we crashed over at her place. not really concerned about the fact she lives with her parents, as she is still in college. dean and I fell into a slumber. hear is what I really forgot about, the strict conservative nature of her father. 8:30 AM.......thump, thump, thump, thump THUMP, X@#?!! nevertheless we had to leave real soon, that meant no shower, no teeth brushing, and no poo for dean.
we jumped in the truck and drove to orlando, I must have fallen asleep 4 or 5 times at the wheel, butt we made it. we went and got a hotel and napped immediately. at 3:30 pm thurs. we woke and showered. then hit Disney, the magic kingdom, I showed dean the good stuff like pirates of the Caribbean and space mountain. then I took him on it's a small world, by far the worst ride ever conceived of by walt. we had a great time, met some 16 year old girls that were beyond annoying. so we finished disney in less than 3 hours, and finally at 8 pm thurs we hit THE BIG KMART to get a change of clothes and toothbrushes. went back to the hotel, stopping at taco bell along the way, changed, brushed and walked across the street to BIG BAMBOO (see review).
waking up at 11am on fri dean and i had a big day ahead of us. first off we had to clean up, mainly relive some of the pressure on our sphinkturs. mine was happy, dean's poo was not quite ready, but almost there was mentioned. we took fotos in front of the worlds largest concrete crocodile, fotos by xanadu (the house of the future), we rented an airboat (one of those swamp boats with the big propeller on the back) which was pretty cool, and then ate at steak and shake, mmmmmmmmmmm. Now we jumped in the car and headed east to cocoa beach (as in I dream of Jeannie). when there we were disappointed with the Ron john surf shop, tho we did get some Hawaiian shirts. by this time it was getting late and we only had 4 more hours to make it to Mai Kai. so we hit the road. south on A1A is the nice drive thru 50's florida, takes a bit longer but well worth it. we pulled in to Mai Kai at 9:30pm on fri. (see review then continue)
well dean and i met our friends there fri nite about 10pm. let's see, carl, kris and candice ya i guess that's it. for awhile there candice was saying the drinks had no alcohol in them, then whamo!!! she became a goof just like that, famous last words. i got the hula girl drink and dance, and she even gave me a lei. she danced to a gong, i found that odd, i would have expected a ucka lalee(sp??). kris got a sparkler, as it was her birthday, which she then dropped and almost burned the place down. I did nothing foolish, i was calm cool and collected. dean and candice seemed to get along well as they both were a little tipsy, carl on the other hand called our waitress by the wrong name ariola, when arianna was her actual name, a little seinfeld slip there. we had a great time there. we were kicked out at 1am and we went for a long drive(courtesy of kris' navigation) to find the strip of bars in fort lauderdale. we did eventually find them, we drank some more, and found a hotel on the beach. it was late, butt we went to the beach anyway, it was nice, got to kill lots of man-o-war and jellyfish with rocks, you never get tired of that. woke up sat morning and stole everything in the hotel that wasn't nailed down and headed for miami. at this moment i do not believe dean had crapped yet, hmmmm. upon arriving in miami we hit target for some fresh clothes and then headed over to george's 'FOR THE BIG GAME' whatever that means. cleaned up at carl's and went for a drink with the gals-o-carl at the purple cactuss(or something). dean and i alternated dancing while on purse patrol for the chicks(you know, hey can u watch these??? and then 30 min later they come back and say it again). all in all a very pleasant evening down in miami, dean and i did realize that miami was 'MTV LAND' tho, it is hard to describe, go and see for yourself.
